Will
by Glisseo
Summary: A marriage, a pregnancy, a child, a life.
1. i will

_**I Will**_

They have a Muggle wedding, for two reasons. The first is that a lavish, magical affair of the sort the Potters are used to is certain to attract the attention of the Death Eaters, who are (after much debate) not invited. The second is that Lily hopes this will encourage her sister to attend.

(She doesn't.)

'Cosy' and 'intimate' are not the right words for the size of it; it actually feels rather bleak to Lily, as she looks across the church she'd so often sat in for harvest festival and the Christmas service. They couldn't separate the guests according to groom's side and bride's side, because their families in attendance comprise two people each and their friends, now, belong to each other. She does feel that James has done rather better than her, with his best friends from school proudly there, a best man in the form of the very best friend. Her school friends are all gone, dead or fled. She has no bridesmaids.

Still, her parents are there, smiling proudly and a little sadly as they begin the process that will take their eighteen year old daughter away from them in name, to a man – a boy – they barely know, surrounded by odd looking people they have not met before and will most likely never meet again: Dumbledore, resplendent in a purple velvet suit; Mad-Eye Moody, magical eye fixed on the doors; Hagrid, taking up almost an entire pew to himself.

It helps to focus on these details and wonderings. As she walks up the aisle, arm in arm with her father, she takes deep breaths, trying not to stumble on the hem of her mother's dress, there not being time nor security enough to shop for one of her own. She is not worried at all about the prospect of spending her life with James Potter, merely worried about what that life entails: how short it will be. This rush into marriage seems to be surrender to their fears that they will not be together for long.

But surely, she thinks as she approaches her future, any time spent together will be time worth cherishing.

James is charming in a Muggle morning suit, exchanging grins with Sirius – who is remarkably cheerful considering his initial resistance to the marriage – and bouncing on the balls of his feet, hands clasped tightly together. She smiles at him, because he makes her want to smile.

They reach the front, she and her dear dad, and he kisses her cheek and whispers gruffly, "proud of you, love", and then he is gone and she and James face each other, equals – not to the world, but to each other; their hands entwine, and his warmth is grounding, solid and safe and real.

The vicar is not one Lily remembers; he is a neutral figure that she will not remember in the years to come, caught up as she will be in the feeling of love this day holds. He begins words that are familiar and yet so distant, because it hasn't quite sunk in yet that she is about to be married.

"James, will you take Lily to be your wife? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and protect her, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to her as long as you both shall live?"  
"I will," says James. His grip on Lily's hands tightens infinitesimally.  
"Lily, will you take James to be your husband? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and protect him, and, forsaking all others, be faithful to him as long as you both shall live?"  
"I will," Lily says, and she thinks only of loving James, of a life loving each other, and doesn't wonder just how long they both shall live, because she _will _always love him and she knows, she knows from the look in his eyes, that he will always love her, and they will always have that.


	2. you will

_**You Will**_

Lily cries most days. James knows that this is probably normal, that pregnancy has an effect on emotions, but he hates that she is unhappy. She rarely cried before, preferring to purse her lips and turn away, but now she sits for hours, tears streaming down her face, making no attempt to hide them. They have nothing to hide from each other now, now that they are each other's lives, but there is another life in the balance and neither of them know, yet, if they can actually handle it. He doesn't know what to say, and so he just sits with her, and holds her hands, like he did on their wedding day.

But this is war, and they are torn apart. They were rarely sent on missions together before, but when James receives the message from Dumbledore, they both know that it isn't even a possibility, and Lily cries harder and stomps her feet, because she is now effectively useless to the Order, and James holds her hands and kisses her forehead but he has to go.

Lily says nothing at first, but when he is about to leave, she leaps to her feet, rushes to his side, pulls him back.  
"Don't go."  
"Lily –"  
"Don't go!"  
"I have to," he says gently, an ache thudding through his chest at her crumpled face.  
"I know!" She shakes her head. "I know you have to. But you can't _go_, James, you can't - _leave_."

She never says _die_.

"I won't," he says, feeling the seconds tick away. "I'll be back soon -" He moves towards the door, fumbling for his Invisibility Cloak, and to his relief, Lily's anguish seems to subside, her expression smoothing. She kisses him on the cheek and says, "be careful. I'll see you soon."  
"Yes, you will. I love you," he adds, and kisses her on the mouth, inhaling her scent, trying to block out the enormous part of him – all of him, really – that says _I don't want to go. _  
"I love you too."  
Cold winter air blasts into the hall as James opens the door. He grasps Lily's hand one last time, then lets go and bounds down the path, trying not to look back.  
"Wait! James!"  
Lily clings to the doorframe, fear washing over her face.  
"You _will _come back, you will, won't you? I – I will see you again?"  
"You will," says James, promising it to himself, too, and then he leaves, because it's too hard for both of them if he lingers.


	3. our will

"A will! We're only twenty, for crying out loud …"

Dorcas rolls her eyes. "You could be a hundred and twenty and it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference if Voldemort's after you. This isn't about _you_, James, it's about your kid."

James glances at Lily, sitting pale and strained on the other side of the kitchen table, and then looks at the chubby baby perched blissfully on his lap. Harry blows a spit bubble.

"Fine," James says mutinously. "_Fine_. We'll make a bloody will."

Dorcas gives him an encouraging smile and starts to draw scrolls out of mid-air. Her position in Magical Law makes her the perfect person to help them with this – but oh, if _only _it weren't necessary. James rests his chin on the top of his son's head as Dorcas, watched carefully by Lily, conjures a quill and inkpot and begins outlining the process.

"There are three sections – goods, gold and kin," she explains. "So you'll need to state who will be inheriting what from all of those – obviously, with kin, you'll need to state who will become Harry's legal guardian should something happen to both of you."

"Sirius," says James at once.

Dorcas raises an eyebrow at Lily, who smiles faintly and says "yes, Sirius, of course."

"Suit yourself," Dorcas mutters, raising her quill. "Full name?"

"Sirius Orion Black."

"And do you have anyone else? Perhaps someone who isn't in the Order?"

James looks at Lily again, stumped. His favourite cousin Marlene was also in the Order … but – oh! Her brothers …

"My cousin Marvin?" he suggests, as Lily ventures tentatively, "my sister?"

Both stare at each other.

"You hardly know Marvin!" Lily bursts out. "It must've been _years _since you've seen him, you don't even know if he's nice, or if he likes kids –"

"You want someone nice and you thought of _your sister_?" James counters. "Lily, she hates us! She never even replied to the letter you sent telling her about Harry, she doesn't give a damn about him –"

"She's my sister," says Lily staunchly. "I grew up with her, I know she'd look after Harry if – if she had to."

James sighs heavily. "If you _must_. But it's just a precaution, all right? Dorcas, can you put in brackets that I don't _actually _want Harry going to –"

"Full name?" Dorcas interrupts in a bored tone of voice.

"Petunia – Petunia Dursley," Lily instructs. "Née Evans, I suppose."

As Dorcas writes, James squeezes Harry tightly and sends a silent wish that he'll never, _ever _have to live with Petunia and her oafish husband.

"Now – gold?"

"Everything to Harry," says Lily, exchanging a brief look with James, who nods.

Dorcas pauses, quill hovering above the parchment, an uncomfortable look on her face. "And if – I mean, in the event that Harry has also –"

"Shut up, Dorcas," James tells her loudly, moving his hands to lightly cover Harry's ears. "I don't want to _hear _you say that."

"James," Lily murmurs gently, "we do have to be practical … I don't want to think about it any more than you do, but …"

"Fine!" James hisses, and he speaks very quickly, as if that will make saying the words less real. "We'll leave everything to Remus John Lupin."

Lily smiles sadly.

The rest of the bequests are made quickly, as Harry starts to fuss; James feels like making similar noises himself. When Dorcas finally leaves, sealing the scrolls with her wand, James cradles his son close and tries not to think about what they've just done … _why _they've done it …

"So," Lily says quietly; her green eyes are weary. "We just made our will."

"I really don't want to talk about it," James tells her tiredly.

_We just made our will. _


	4. i will too

There are no parents of the groom at this wedding, but it is still the happiest day of the young groom's life. He laughs and jokes with his best man as they dress over at his cottage; he grins and winks as he stands up at the front of the marquee; he smiles, stunned and amazed and _so _so happy, as his bride walks towards him, rainbow-hued flowers in her bright red hair.

The groom is an orphan, and yet he would never claim that no family attends his wedding. Does he not, after all, spin his delighted godson around the dance floor, to shouts of glee? Does he not dance with the bridesmaid, a sister to him in all but blood? Is he not hugged and congratulated by the parents of the bride, pride and happiness written all over their faces? And when he shares the first kiss, the first dance, with his wife, does he not feel _on top of the world _when he realises that there is now another with his name?

In time, he will have children, wondrous creations with his hair, or eyes, or temper; he will forever be surrounded by love and joy and peace. He will live as happily as the two people who cradled him in their arms moments after his birth wished that he would, with or without them.

And yes, as the groom gazes down at his bride with sheer love and appreciation and says "_I will", _he feels a twinge of sadness that his parents are not there to see him, alive and happy and loved. But then his bride says it too, _"I will," _and he laughs and whoops and kisses her and knows that she will, too; she will love him for the rest of time.


End file.
